My introduction to Phyllis Hyman was Spike Lee’s movie School Daze. She’s singing at the homecoming dance with her black angular hat, shoulder padded black dress that contrasted her caramel-cream colored skin but what I was drawn to were her eyes. They just seem to carry such sadness. In my teen years, my Uncle Glenn told me that she was a person you listened to when you’re hearts been ripped into a million pieces. I told him I thought Sade was the singer you listened to when love has gone wrong. His response was that Sade is who you make love to Phyllis Hyman is who you cry to.
Over the years I would hear her on the radio every now and then or read an article talking about her untimely death or her underrated diva status. But it’s only been recently that I’ve started to seek out her music. On a slow day at work I was watching You Tube clips and saw her perform at a Tribute to Gladys Knight with Melba Moore. This lead to watching other videos and live performances. Living in Confusion was stuck in my head for days and may be rightly so. My current romantic situation or quest for romance was 'in confusion.'
In my twenties, I never really worried about romance or looking to be in a relationship I was all about my friends, partying, grad school, and delaying having to grow up. I had a relationship with a man I thought was The One but it didn’t work out. I’m good at attracting men who are into me, find me fascinating but only sexually. Recently I’ve met a man who ignites this lustful flame in me but is not ‘relationship’ material. And then there is someone I want to be with and I think he wants to be with me too but I am too afraid to think about it, love has gone wrong so many times how would handle it if this was right? Maybe there is something to be said about sad love songs. There is a clip of Phyllis Hyman from the Arsenio Hall Show and she talks about how she prefers to sing sad love songs. I’m not saying I prefer to be in sad love situations but it’s all I know. I am desperately trying to find the courage to be in successful one.
