Kings Of Leon - Sex On Fire

Ever since I was a teenager I’ve always fallen asleep with the radio on. Listening to the music especially if it’s a slow song or jazz always made it easier to relax. At 33, I still fall asleep with the radio on sometimes I’ll play Sade, Maxwell, Nora Jones, or Roxy Music. Some nights I fall in and out of sleep and others I am staring at the ceiling or across the room at Grace Jone’s Island Life album hanging on the wall. One sleepless night where I was alternating between staring at the ceiling and Grace Jones my mind was loaded with images of seeing my youngest uncle in a casket, (He died at thirty-eight.), my former best friend Shawn, who has not spoken to me in three years, and my most recent ex Ben, who I was still in love with him. The thought of going to bed alone each night felt like someone inside my chest was twisting my heart wringing it out like it was a wet towel. I had to keep reminding myself that things will get better, that I will not always feel like this. Yet, these thoughts didn’t bring me any relief.

            At 3AM for about a month in a swirl of all my worries I would hear this song. I was still sleeping on one side of the bed and although I had changed the sheets I could still smell the ivory soap scent my ex would leave. My tossing and turning got so bad that I lined the bed with two medium sized pillows, on his side of the bed, something to resemble a body next to me, something to snuggle against in hopes of falling asleep. It worked and sleep would come for a couple of hours until 3AM, when I roll over and realize he wasn’t there. Fully awake hearing this song. The opening guitar chords faint in the background and the sound of Caleb’s gritty vocals caught my attention. Curled against the pillows I listened to the song I realized that I have yet to have a man to give me the experience this song speaks of. All this yearning for Ben wasn’t about him it was more about yearning for the carnal connection something that I never got from him. As the last bits of the song played through the low hum of my stereo speakers I realized that I wasted too many days, hours, minutes, thinking about things and people I can’t change. In those early morning hours I dosed off with phrase ‘Sex on Fire’ lingering in my head and a new purpose of moving on to a new more passionate love something better, something more fulfilling.